the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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