She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
