During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
