I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
