Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
