sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
