no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
