I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
