My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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