i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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