2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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