I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
