Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
