I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
