you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
