Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
