Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
