We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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