It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
