It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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