Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
