Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
