thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize