Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties

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(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

Fav 7 4182 1040
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(703): View more from Virginia

We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

Fav 11 4836 883
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

Fav 6 1383 4191
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(631): View more from New York

the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

Fav 9 6871 1325
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

Fav 8 1106 2641
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(716): View more from New York

You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.

Fav 7 1640 953
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(937): View more from Ohio

It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.

Fav 2 167 72
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(407): View more from Florida

She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!

Fav 0 80 18
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