so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
