In the future we'll all be gay
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize