I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She announced her abortion via fbk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
