theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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