a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
honey bunches of taint.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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