O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
How many fucks given?
0.12846
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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