New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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