This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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