sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
