She is in my trunk
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The air was thick with penises
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
