That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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