the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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