Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize