he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
