On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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