I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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