we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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