It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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