I want to have your abortion
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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