This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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