NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You are a genius and a whore.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
