I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
