who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize