I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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