In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Im part way to drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
