What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
