he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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