lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
