What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
