Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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