just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
