I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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