OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
