i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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