i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
