i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
