Me too!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
vagina is talking i cant
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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