bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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